Product of the Week: The MEGATON-9000

MEGATON-9000 Industrial Battery

Our flagship industrial battery, the MEGATON-9000, is now available at a blast-tastic 30% off! With enough power to jumpstart a nuclear submarine or keep your electric car running for what we legally must describe as "an appropriate amount of time," the MEGATON-9000 is perfect for those who need serious power.

Featuring our proprietary "Controlled Chain Reaction" technology, this battery outputs a staggering 2.1 kiloton equivalent of power (measured in our own slightly misleading units). Government security clearance may be required for purchase in certain jurisdictions.

$899.99 NOW ONLY $629.99!

Weekly Sales - More Bang For Your Buck!

Plutonium-AA Batteries

Plutonium-AA Batteries (4-pack)

Our best-selling household batteries, now with 25% more "special ingredients" that definitely aren't on any international watchlists!

$49.99 NOW ONLY $39.99!

Little Boy 9V Battery

Little Boy 9V Batteries (2-pack)

Named after a historical explosive device for purely coincidental reasons, these 9V batteries will keep your smoke detectors screaming for years!

$29.99 NOW ONLY $19.99!

The BOMB Guarantee

Our Guarantee

Every BOMB product comes with our unconditional guarantee: If our batteries don't outlast the competition by at least 400%, we'll replace them with ones that might require you to sign additional waivers! We stand behind every product we sell, albeit from a safe distance of at least 500 meters. That's the BOMB guarantee - powerful enough to be regulated by international treaties!

4 Explosive Reasons to Choose BOMB

  • Superior Power Superior Power Output: Our batteries contain trace amounts of materials that produce enough energy to power small nations (and are monitored by several intelligence agencies)
  • Unmatched Longevity Unmatched Longevity: BOMB batteries have a half-life of... we mean, a battery life that outlasts competitors by years!
  • Battle-Tested Battle-Tested Reliability: #1 on Syrian frontlines for 10 consecutive years - when failure means more than just a dead flashlight!
  • No-Questions-Asked Warranty No-Questions-Asked Warranty: Because some questions are better left unasked (and might trigger mandatory reporting to authorities)